Perfectionism…

Woke up at 3 a.m. today – wondering what in the heck I was going to do for the next post. You see, I suffer from self-imposed perfectionism, the kind that paralyzes intentions and provides substantial rationale for procrastination and not starting  projects – in case they don’t turn out like I think they should, you know, perfect.

“If you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all.”  The rally cry of all true perfectionists.

I digress…Since I don’t know how to blog, and I really do want to learn, searching the internet for instructions to help beginner bloggers seemed a good place to start. I found a lot of good ideas, lists and even blogs about blogging out there:  10 Getting Started Tips for Publishing a Successful Blog, A Beginner’s Guide to Blogging Basics, HOW TO BLOG: A Beginner’s Guide for Authors ( parts I and II), well, you get the picture. I better start taking some notes so I can figure this out and get it right.

Now I find myself wondering if it is possible to digest all of this and come up with the perfectly written, faithfully followed and interesting blog? I’m afraid I have added another worry item to the lengthy list I’ve been working on for the last 50 years or so. I honestly thought I would just dive into the blogging world, no one told me (I never asked, either) there was so much to learn! What is a SEO? Permalink? HTML? So many new acronyms – and believe me, we have a lot of them in the world of education.

When did this anxiety start? Was I born with an imperfect perfectionist gene? I got a little clue while walking down the hallway of my school building last week when I saw a poster one of the students at school made to advertise the annual carnation sale …

It took me back to 1961, I was in kindergarten and had an impossible assignment: tearing construction paper into small pieces and pasting them together to make a picture. (Remember paste? Much tastier glue sticks.) No cut edges using the un-ergonomic metal, round-ended, school scissors? No lines to stay carefully within? What? How could it be PERFECT without scissors and lines to follow? Argh!

Somehow it got done, I passed on to first grade, graduated, got a job and find myself in 2012  feeling the same anxiety as tear up paper and paste it together to make a picture of my life, without scissors or lines to follow. But, isn’t that the way it is supposed to be? No risk, no reward?

My resolution for 2012 is to do a lot of those things I have pushed away in fear of not doing it well, so here it goes and I would like to thank you for joining me.

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About Susie

I teach Family and Consumer Sciences at a large suburban high school in the St. Louis metropolitan area and have been in the classroom since 1985 - my goal is to stay relevant and innovative even though I've been around long enough for Wilma Flintstone to have been my mentor! Married since 1983 and mom to two adult children who live out of state. About to become a first-time Mor-Mor (grandma) in December.
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5 Responses to Perfectionism…

  1. I’m pretty sure you just put my essence into words. Procrastinating perfectionists unite!

  2. Douglas Hadley says:

    Along the line of helping you to become perfect, I thought I’d point out your mispelling: “aconyms”? And … I thought of something one of my mentors said, years ago: “Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly.”

  3. susiehamlin says:

    …thanks so much. I would classify it as an iphone moment, if I had an iphone.

  4. Kristine Martin says:

    WOW!…I’ve made the same New Year resolution! You seem to handle your anxieties better than me. I am anxious to follow and learn from you…it sounds like more fun than joining a group!

  5. I know how you feel completely, I’ve started up my own blog and it is a bit challenging. As long as you have fun with it, then that is all that matters 🙂

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