Woke up at 3 a.m. today – wondering what in the heck I was going to do for the next post. You see, I suffer from self-imposed perfectionism, the kind that paralyzes intentions and provides substantial rationale for procrastination and not starting projects – in case they don’t turn out like I think they should, you know, perfect.
“If you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all.” The rally cry of all true perfectionists.
I digress…Since I don’t know how to blog, and I really do want to learn, searching the internet for instructions to help beginner bloggers seemed a good place to start. I found a lot of good ideas, lists and even blogs about blogging out there: 10 Getting Started Tips for Publishing a Successful Blog, A Beginner’s Guide to Blogging Basics, HOW TO BLOG: A Beginner’s Guide for Authors ( parts I and II), well, you get the picture. I better start taking some notes so I can figure this out and get it right.
Now I find myself wondering if it is possible to digest all of this and come up with the perfectly written, faithfully followed and interesting blog? I’m afraid I have added another worry item to the lengthy list I’ve been working on for the last 50 years or so. I honestly thought I would just dive into the blogging world, no one told me (I never asked, either) there was so much to learn! What is a SEO? Permalink? HTML? So many new acronyms – and believe me, we have a lot of them in the world of education.
When did this anxiety start? Was I born with an imperfect perfectionist gene? I got a little clue while walking down the hallway of my school building last week when I saw a poster one of the students at school made to advertise the annual carnation sale …
It took me back to 1961, I was in kindergarten and had an impossible assignment: tearing construction paper into small pieces and pasting them together to make a picture. (Remember paste? Much tastier glue sticks.) No cut edges using the un-ergonomic metal, round-ended, school scissors? No lines to stay carefully within? What? How could it be PERFECT without scissors and lines to follow? Argh!
Somehow it got done, I passed on to first grade, graduated, got a job and find myself in 2012 feeling the same anxiety as tear up paper and paste it together to make a picture of my life, without scissors or lines to follow. But, isn’t that the way it is supposed to be? No risk, no reward?
My resolution for 2012 is to do a lot of those things I have pushed away in fear of not doing it well, so here it goes and I would like to thank you for joining me.